I had no idea about the back room. Wasn't until I was all but out and met up with a bro who was on his way out. He explained to me the horrible things that went on behind the scenes.
The elders were generally very, very nice to me. It was the doctrines I saw through first. Not the elders. Then I realised that the elders were comfortable going along with blasphemy. But even when I called them out on it, they still kept trying to get me to go along with it. As they threw me out, one of them shook my hand. Another told me I had down some wonderful research. Yet another listed the fond memories he had of me.
And now - are they nice to me? When they see me they look away or disappear down the aisle of a shop. But others, not elders are behaving differently. They smile, they wave, they speak.
My name is not mentioned much by the elders. I suspect when they are not grinding their teeth at the thought of me they feel shame.